38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
