he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
