we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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