I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
