i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
He felt like a one man threesome
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Randomize
