the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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