they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
