this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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