I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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