He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
