i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
