i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
