if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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