party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
