fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I'm like, not good at living.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
