He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Come see our sink grown plant.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
