also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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