Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
