I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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