I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
My vagina is very pro this idea
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
