This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
false alarm, still single
Randomize
