i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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