I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
