Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
