Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
