I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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