So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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