isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Randomize
