Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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