my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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