How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Dear god my vagina.
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