dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
