bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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