That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
