After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
