I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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