Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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