Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
