I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
