Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
