...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize