If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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