hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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