nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
