No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
