If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize