To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
‎"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
