Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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