Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
