Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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