I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
