Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
