Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Randomize
