It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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