I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
