hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
You're my little dorito
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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