She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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