i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize