We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
